| We've probably all suffered times in our career | | | | that is what you will get - a bad day. Change that |
| when we've been faced with tension at work and | | | | thought to something more useful and realistic, ie |
| having to deal with people we find difficult. At | | | | 'today will be ok' - you could also add a mini-goal, |
| best these times can be a source of amusing | | | | ie 'I'll get that report finished' or 'I'll chase those |
| stories for our friends and families, at worst it can | | | | three suppliers about their quotes'. Focus on what |
| be the source of stress, burn-out and depression. | | | | you really want and you're more likely to get it. |
| In reality, we can't be best friends with everyone | | | | 5. Stop talking and really listen to this person. |
| we have to work with. We need to know people | | | | When we're fed up with someone or don't really |
| enough to get our work done, but we don't have | | | | like them, we often tune out when they are |
| to be dashing off for lunch or drinks down the | | | | talking. We rush in to answer before they've |
| pub with everyone. | | | | finished speaking. However, giving them time to |
| If you are struggling with a relationship at work | | | | speak and listening to what they are saying will |
| then one of the first things to ask yourself is 'am | | | | mean less misunderstanding and more chance of |
| I expecting too much?' Setting too high an | | | | getting done what needs to be done. |
| expectation of the quality of work relationships | | | | 6. Sometimes we create conflict because |
| can mean you'll set yourself up to fail and become | | | | someone does something in a different way to us |
| frustrated when people don't meet your | | | | - accept the difference rather than making a big |
| expectations. Be realistic; aim to build a good | | | | deal of it. A good team is made up of a mix of |
| enough relationship and level of respect to get | | | | talented people. Recognising, valuing and using |
| your work done. | | | | other people's skills properly ensure the team, and |
| If you're wondering how to go about this, then | | | | everybody in it, achieves more. |
| here are some actions you could take: | | | | 7. If it's really bad, then your solution may be to |
| | | | leave and find another job. If that's the case, then |
| 1. Start by focusing on what you do have in | | | | make sure you're clear about what you want |
| common - it may only be something small but if | | | | from your next job, the type of company you |
| you continue to focus on the negatives and | | | | want to work for and what tasks you want to |
| differences then they will become bigger and | | | | be doing. Walk towards what you want rather |
| more difficult to overcome. | | | | than running away from what you don't want.We |
| 2. Focus on what you want to achieve and on | | | | all have the potential to be a 'difficult person' at |
| getting there in a win-win way. | | | | work. You can't change someone else's behaviour, |
| 3. One of the most common difficulties is | | | | but you can influence them. Take responsibility for |
| communication. We may all think we're speaking | | | | your own behaviour - try something different - |
| the same language, but our values and beliefs, the | | | | and you will create the best chance of building a |
| way we were brought up and the way we do | | | | 'good enough' relationship which allows you to |
| things ourselves can cause difficulties in the | | | | work side by side successfully. |
| workplace. Remember that you too have the | | | | And, as the author and Akido teacher Thomas |
| potential to be a difficult person to someone else. | | | | Crum says: |
| 4. Change your thinking. If your waking thought is: | | | | 'Resolving conflict is rarely about who is right. |
| 'here we go; another bad day at the office' then | | | | |