Manners, Aikido, and Ki Moments

In a recent Wall Street Journal editorial, columnistbuses, and in our own vehicles--manners also
Peggy Noonan discussed the disappearance ofcommunicate respect and safety. They provide
manners in our culture. The article was provokedstructure in an otherwise high-speed, pressurized
by news stories of Steven Slater, the JetBlueworld--a structure that helps us stop before we
flight attendant whose claim to fame is thedo harm. Manners elevate the user and the
rudeness with which he addressed passengers atreceiver, and represent who we are as a person,
their arrival gate before taking the emergencyteam, community, or society.
chute to the tarmac and driving home. Peggy'sIn return, when we feel etiquette has been
article got me thinking about manners, kibreached, we can speak up. Yes, it takes time
moments, and the contribution we each make inand clarity of intention to create an intentional
creating our culture.culture, but I feel more energized, not less, when
Manners do seem in short supply.The culture shiftI'm respectful and ask for respect, whether it be
is often blamed on frayed nerves, economicfrom the home repairman, my family, or my
pressure, new cultural models that viewcoworker.
"manners" as old-fashioned, and the fast pace ofI think Steven Slater had a rough time that day.
technology.But he missed a Ki Moment. By acting in a
In Aikido, etiquette represents respect andcourteous manner, I think he could have shown
safety. Because the martial arts are by natureeveryone on that airplane how to be safe,
physical and because we can inadvertently injure,respectful, and powerful. And he would have
we place a great deal of importance on observingelevated all who witnessed the exchange. He
dojo (school) norms, such as thanking and bowingmight not have made headlines, but then true
to each other frequently and deliberately. Wepower often does not.
remind each other­­--and ourselves--of ourEach culture has its own etiquette. What
positive intent. Proper etiquette is a distinguishingcontributes to safety and respect in your
characteristic of a good dojo.workplace? In your home? How do you help
In everyday life off the mat--in our homes,co-create your environment, and how can you
schools, and workplaces, on airplanes, trains,invite more intention around these ideas?