Escaping Spikey

"You can close your excuse-referral book now. 
You're coming home for lunch, and that's final"Phew! We're finally seated in the comfort of Meli's
said Melissa with an affirmative air that leaves youhome, but though a little calmer, my nerves still
nothing much to say other than, "Ok, ok, as youare a mess. How the heck am I to get back
say,"now?
  
As I put down the phone, I thought, I might asI'm sure Spikey knows that's there's some
well. After all, it's not every Sunday that I travelstranger in the vicinity, and his already alert
to Suburban Mumbai, and more so I could do withsenses would be even more alarmed should there
a little company while I crib about how mybe a slight slip-up. Meli insists dogs are not
Sunday is absolutely ruined by a sudden businessinterested. She further defends his case with her
event, and most importantly it had been quite aargument that he only bites vendors.
while since I met Meli (well long enough for us to"You do not look like a vendor",
realise that the other had either put on weight or 
lost some of it – in girl terms, that's quite a"Neither did Lee, but he still thought him (junk)
long time).food."
  
And so Sunday found me walking towards Meli's"Lee instigated him".
society gate, a happy spring in my step, looking 
forward to an interesting rendezvous. In the trueI ask how. She says by walking provocatively. I
style of the considerate host that she is, Meli wasstare in silence, dumbfounded. What could you say
already at the entrance, waving her hands in theto that? A dog getting instigated because he
air to catch my already attracted attention.thinks your walk is provocative. Sigh!!
  
We don't believe in exchanging pleasantries, we'veWe're still debating about how we could possibly
known each other for much longer than that, soget past Spikey.
we giggled a little at nothing really hilarious, and 
broke into an almost immediate chatter, thatCould she ask a few neighbours to escort her
wasn't much interrupted by a sudden realisationpoor friend till the gate? She looks at me
that we could continue our babbling or ratherstupefied.
"exchanging notes" as we prefer referring to it as,"Ok, could you carry some titbits with you that
in the comfort of her home.you could throw in another direction so that he
 changes attention, and I can sprint for the gate?"
"Sure, let's go", I seconded her, all the while 
blissfully unaware of the recollection about to"No," I then contradict myself, "he would smell the
move slowly from my subconscious to mytitbits on us, and we'd probably be inviting him
cognisant mind.over ourselves, rather than keeping him away."
  
Happy feet moved inwards from the gate, whichI asked her, "Can you go out and call a rickshaw
stood at the extreme end of the rectangularinside, right up to your building?" "Well, no" I
compound that was shared by 6 buildings, eachthought again, "He could jump inside very
separated by cobbled pathways. The buildingsconveniently. And then I'm so done for."
were lined by tall Ashokas on all sides, which 
provided a shady slumber space to the strays"Relax," she says, "we'll manage."
that called this society their home. I let out a 
short laugh, as I pointed to the white and brownI'm not sure what that meant. I mean he wouldn't
mongrel that was resting under one such spot, allbite ‘her', she's familiar, but me? I'm a sure
its fours up in the air.victim.
  
Meli continued walking ahead, her head thrownAs we step out in to the evening sun, I start
back by the recent spurt of chuckles thatmuttering my prayers. During the past 2 hours I
dominated our banter, and it was only when shehave visualised and re-visualised my fight with the
glanced behind that she realised that I was firmlyvillain. At least in the re-takes in my mind, I end
rooted to the spot.up victorious.
  
As all the laughter vanished in a whiff, I managedMelissa takes the obvious lead, and we begin the
two words – "Meli, Spikey!"journey back, towards the gate of salvation, on
 mission – Protect Rear!
In all the excitement of the afternoon, I had 
forgotten all about Spikey. Yes Spikey – one"The key is maintaining constant speed – not
of the strays in the society, a malicious bundle oftoo quick, not too slow. Remember Johnny
black and grey fur, that once chose to distrust aWalker" says Meli, "Keep Walking."
visiting friend and make a light snack out his seat. 
Ouch!We're almost reaching the gate now, and then we
 spot the enemy – sleeping blissfully on the
Stranded right in the centre of the compound,warm cobbled path. And then just as I'm about to
with a few wagging tails coming closer and notoffer my thanks to the powers above, the rest
another human soul in sight, I'm faced with aof the gang start their doggy chorus – barking
dilemma – Do I retrace my steps towardsat a speeding motorcycle that whizzed by.
the gate? Or should I listen to Meli, and continue 
onwards.Oops, the quadruped fiend opened his eyes to
 inspect the source of all the chaos. I'm so done
"I will be brave," I tell myself. Murphy's Law at itsfor I thought. "Should I try singing a lullaby", I ask.
best here again has the destination building"If you do, I'd set Spikey on to you myself,"
situated right at the end of the compound. Drat!warned a partially serious Melissa.
  
We keep walking, and I put on a smile that I hopeWe turned our focus back on Spikey – it was
will make me appear nonchalant should Spikeyexactly 5 seconds – he looked at us, yawned
spot me. All the while, Meli keeps mumbling, "Jo,disinterestedly, and then went off to sleep again.
walk normally! We're fine! We're cool! No catwalks 
please. He may just find that suggestive,"It took almost 10 minutes for my breathing to
 get back to normal, once I climbed into the
I try hard to ignore that, but a dog finding yourrickshaw, relieved that every piece of me was
gait suggestive is just too much to handle.intact.
  
Now we're almost near her building, and I see aA few days later Melissa called up to tell me that
black figure striding towards us. "Oh crap Meli," Ithe society is thinking of putting Spikey to sleep.
shriek, my feet gone numb and my heartShe asked if I would like to have my name on
pounding loud.their signature campaign for protecting the local
 strays.
"Shut up woman! That's not Spikey. That's a good 
dog," says Melissa."Sure," I smiled back, "after all Spikey is just doing
 his job. The problem is that he is taking his job a
I don't believe her. The dog changes courselittle too seriously.
mid-way and I almost jump into the open lift.